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Currently Gaming Naruto: Ultimate Ninja By Namco Bandai see related

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts and Rants

You should be punched in the mouth if:

- You are perfectly ambulatory and use the elevator to ride up only one floor.  Use stairs you lazy schmuck.

- Walk across the street in traffic when there is a crosswalk less than 20 feet front of you.

-  Takes you over three minutes to process the mere thought that someone wants a burger with no onions and pickles.

-  Make another reality television show that requires contestants to sing (relax people, I'm not talking about American Idol...yet).

-  Speed up and stay alongside the car trying to shift into your lane.

-  Make the same request immediately after someone says no.

-  If you are Person #1 in the following short play:

           Person #1:  Can I have a buck?

           Person #2:  I don't have any money.

           Person #1:  Don't you have any change?

    Person #1, when I say I don't have any money, I don't have any money.  Change is money.  Leave me the fuck alone.  I also love the fact that the people that do ask me for money wear better clothes than I do and get pissed off and irritated that I don't buy into their bullshit.  Before you get all preachy about helping the poor, let me tell you that I offer to buy them a meal or bus ticket and then they turn me away.  That's how you weed out the people who really need help and drunks/druggies who would waste it/take advantage of charity rather than find help or getting a job.

Other thoughts:

-  White people:  Elvis is dead.  Black people:  So is Tupac.

-  Homemade chicken quesadillas are awesome.

-  I'm sad and pathetic.  VH1 has a pop culture trivia game show.  I'm blowing the contestants out of the water.  Man, I need a life.

-  Finally saw Fargo.  Good flick.

-  CDs currently in my car- Three Days Grace, Led Zepplin, Rollins Band, Dispatch, Seether, Lewis Black:  Black on Broadway, Pink Floyd:  The Wall, Space Ghost's Musical BBQ, Eugene Mirman:  En Garde Society!, Tenacious D, and a spoken word CD with Henry Rollins reading entries of his journal from when he sang for Black Flag.

-  Saw Big Lebowski for the 94th time with White Russian in hand.  Good.

-  I hate the fact that I love Superman Returns.

-  Unless your name is Will Smith, musicians please stay out of movies and actors stay out of the music industry.

-  Ladies:  Owen Wilson is not attractive.  I'm sorry.  He has the ability to be funny at times, but you cannot convince me that a man with a nose like that can be a sex symbol.

- I wish there were new episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

-  People I'd like to have dinner with, organized into a week of meals with groups of three for maximum level of unique conversation:

Monday (Lasanga)-  Jesus Christ, Henry Rollins, Socrates

Tuesday (Gourmet Burritos)-  Tom Hanks, Conan O'Brien, Bruce Lee

Wednesday (Pad Thai)-  C.S. Lewis, Brian K. Vaughn, Julia Stiles

Thursday (Lobster)-  Jon Stewart, Mahatma Ghandi, Frank Miller

Friday (Steak)-  Richard Pryor, Martin Luther King Jr., John McCain

Saturday (BBQ Chicken)- Mother Teresa, Chuck Palahniuk, The Undertaker

Sunday (Breakfast Buffet for Dinner)-  Akira Kurosawa, Lewis Black,  Ayn Rand

Later.

Currently Listening Get Some Go Again By Rollins Band Illumination see related

Earthy Superheroes

  Batman.  Superman.  Wonderwoman.  Spiderman.  Captain America.  The Flaming Carrot.  These are a few of many examples of the title of "superhero."  Realistic heroes such as MLK, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa inspire others and renew the spirit of humanity.  Superheroes, I would argue, are just as important. 

   I'm not trying to be glib nor deflate the impact of the real heroes mentioned and others, however the fictional heroes have inspired ages upon ages of people.  Who you might ask?  Think of the stories of Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan, Odysseus, Hercules, and the Greek gods.  Name one boy who didn't want to live up to the bravery and noble standard set by King Arthur.  Or a girl who didn't admire Hester Prynne living above and better than those who dubbed her a whore. Why do people feel inspired by such heroes?  Because they can relate to them, but also because we are in awe at the moments in which we stop and say "man, I wish I can/have the guts to do that."

   When it comes to superheroes, that's when things could get hokey.  The stereotypical superhero, especially in comics from the 1950's, had little problems outside of beating up bad guys.  While kids love superheroes based upon their powers and the kids' fantasy to have such power, adults have a hard time relating to most superheroes. 

   Superman is a great example of this.  Name a superpower, Superman has/has had it.  No one can truly stop him, they can only slow him down.  He is a goody two-shoes with a good looking girlfriend and the only thing that can stop him is a green rock that is extremely scarce.  Hell, he can even turn back time to stop or save someone if he fails.  He has nothing to lose, nothing to risk, and very little personal drama outside of whether or not someone can identify him after he takes off his glasses.

    Where is the stuggle?  Where's the relatability?  This is one of many examples of heroes that no one outside of kids can relate to.  However, I wish to argue that there are a handful of heroes that an older crowd can admire and relate to.  The best heroes that are written are the ones that are flawed, but try to do their best anyway.  Here are some superheroes that I believe can inspire the kid and adult in all of us, along with being able to relate to in real life.

  Batman:  I'm probably biased since Batman has been my favorite hero since I was a kid, but as I grew into a man, I have a greater appreciation for the Dark Knight.  In terms of inspiration, it might sound silly to be in awe of a man dressed like a rodent, however King Arthur had a magician to help him so I still feel validated.  Batman embodies mankind's drive to be perfect.  He has no powers.  He trains.  He trains his body.  He trains his mind.  He is always prepared.  He always thinks before he acts.  Reading some of his training and his methods, it makes a person think that there could feasibly be a Batman.  He knows his limits, and beats them.

   In terms of relatability, the very thing that drives Batman is regret and survivors' guilt.  He always wish he could have done more to prevent his parents' death.  He should have been braver.  Should have been stronger.  So he becomes these things he was not.  Then he had a surrogate son die (the second Robin).  He should have been faster.  Should have been stronger.  He tries again.  This drive and this mission drives his loved ones away from him since Batman has to be more than a man.  More than Bruce Wayne.  How can we relate?  Imagine your dream, your mission, your career.  How much did you have to sacrifice to get it?  How much pain did you go through?  And then you realize that it still wasn't enough.  Batman's mission is not vengeance, his mission is to keep his own sanity.  In many cases, Batman is just as screwed up as the very people he fights against.

Green Arrow:  Oliver Queen is an asshole.  I don't mean a smartmouth, wiseguy.  Let me tell you about Green Arrow.  He fights crime and injustice.  He stands up for the common man and humanity.  He is one of more down to earth heroes in that he has no powers but his archery and ingenuity.  He also constantly cheats on his longtime girlfriend no matter how many times he tries remain monogamous.  He had an illegitimate child that grew up to become the second Green Arrow which he claims he knew nothing about (even though he was present at his birth).  His sidekick became a heroin addict under his supervision.  He is stubborn, inconsiderate, and always disappoints those closest to him.  And no one knows that more than he does.  Yet he tries to do the right thing anyway. He gets up and tries to do the best for the whole, despite his personal crap.

  Think about the things that you do or have done, that you wish you could change about yourself.  Ponder the habits that you wish to get rid of or the skeletons that you want to clean out of your closet.  You say you will change.  But you fail.  Again.  And again.  How many of us try to forget our problems by throwing ourselves at our work or through charity.  Not as atonement mind you, but as a distraction.  That is Green Arrow in a nutshell.  Trying his best to not better himself, for it seems to be futile, but at least make a difference for everyone else.

  Spiderman:  Watch the first movie.  A young nerd is given powers.  In normal superhero comics, he'd have the girl, money, and love of the public (I'm looking at you, Superman).  Spiderman is the only hero that I can think of whose life is worse off with powers than without.  Peter's uncle dies due to Peter's sin of inactivity.  Spiderman is publicly labeled a menace and is hated by most people.  He cannot balance his life as Spiderman and Peter Parker.  His guardian is always in poor health.  He is always in financial peril.  His worst enemy is his best friend's father.  And just when he finds a partner to share this burden though his wife, she is murdered.  It seems like whenever Spiderman wins, he loses tenfold.  I don't think I need to justify relatibility.  Everyone loses.  Everyone has moments of triumph closely followed by stress or failure.

Wonderwoman:  While on the surface she seems to be the female carbon copy of Superman, I disagree. Why?  Because she is a woman.  She is as strong, as fast, and probably even smarter than Superman, but she is seen as the lesser.  It's unfair.  However, her character always rises above sexism.  She is strong and knows the importance of peace and reason, the reason why she is an ambassador.  However, she also has the presence and drive needed in war, which is what makes her a great soldier.  She breaks the stereotype of both the tomboyish warrior woman along with the stereotypical delicate superheroine.  She demands respect and deserves it.  If she has any flaws, it would be her stubborness, however right or wrong she needs to be stubborn in order to be taken seriously at times due to patriarchal bias.

  I think she is relatable because how many women are subjected to be compared to men, no matter how successful?  How many women are actually equal and even superior to men in work, mind, and/or sport but aren't held as high in regard as men?  She is also one of the few superheroines that doesn't flaunt her sexuality and rely on her body.  She is also one of the smarter characters written.  All of this and it does not compromise her feminity.

  There are probably more superheroes that I could write about, however I believe I made my point.  Superheroes, like it or not, are the modern mythology.  I believe that 500 years from now, the Avengers and the Justice League will be spoken much like we talk about the Norse gods and the Gods of Olympus.  One can be inspired by these modern myths like other heroes, if you look hard enough.

Currently Watching Wonder Showzen - Season 1 By Wonder Showzen see related

Comics for Non-comic Readers

Every Wednesday, my inner geek comes out.  Wednesday is comic book day.  My inner 12 year old rejoices.  However, I (like many comic fans out there) believe that the graphic novel medium has been unfairly treated as sophomoric entertainment for small boys, unintelligent adults, or socially inept virgins.  I love books.  Entertaining stories, poetry, theology, criticism, philosophy, etc.  I love 'em.  I also love comics.  Not just the sci-fi, superhero ones that get made into movies or long running television shows, but ones that are thought-provoking, entertaining, and well written.  For those who aren't into the graphic novel medium, I wish to suggest a list of books that are very well written, have great character development, and keep you salivating.

Maus-  Maus is considered one of the best graphic novel works today.  Maus is artist and writer Art Spiegelman's tale about his conversations with his father who survived the Holocaust, told as mice.  With Jews being represented as mice, Nazis as cats, the French as frogs, and many other animals allegorized, the book is reminiscent to George Orwell's classic, Animal Farm.  While the bulk of the book is about Art's father's trials and survival, the book also explores Art's frustration at trying to understand and even love his father.

Y:  The Last Man-  Imagine a plague that killed 48% of the general population, that included 85% of all governmental representatives worldwide, 99% of the world's land owners, over 90% of the world's construction workers, commercial pilots, truck drivers, electricians, mechanics, and 495 members of the Fortune 500.  What do all these people have in common?  They have testicles.  A mysterious plague has killed every living thing with a Y chromosome save for Yorick Brown, a young amateur escape artist, and his helper monkey.  To ensure survival of the species, Yorick is paired with a secret agent only identified as 355 and Dr. Allison Mann, a top bioengineer in order to find out the cause of the plague.  Why did Yorick survive?  Is 355 really more than what she seems?  What secret is Dr. Mann hiding?  Can a matriarchy grow and overcome the ongoing anarchy?  Is Yorick's maybe-fiancee alive in Australia?  Can mankind survive? Great dialogue, great character development, and a story that when you think you have all the answers, changes the questions.

Ex Machina-  Mayor Hundred is one of the most controversial mayors that New York has ever elected.  As an independent, he constantly has to fend off and please both persons on the left and the right.  If that is not enough, he has to deal with his past.  Like Jesse Ventura and Arnold Swartzeneggar, Hundred was well known before running for office.  He was the Great Machine, a man who can talk to machines, make them stop, go, turn on, turn off, jam, or overheat at will.  Can the world's first (and probably last) superhero be taken seriously as a politician?  Can Hundred escape his vigilante past?  And exactly what caused his accident that made him able to mingle with machines?  Great dialogue, intriguing stories, and underlying mystery makes this an interesting title.  Think the West Wing meets X-Files.

Sin City-  Frank Miller's noir tales from the underbelly of Basin City are the most gritty and grippy of the time.  Other than the tales told in the movie, stories such as A Dame to Kill For and Hell and Back will stretch your mind with the dirty, jerky art and the tongue-in-cheek, vivid dialogue.

Fables-  This one might be too fantasy for some, but I'll list it anyway.  Imagine all the tales you have heard from Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Sal, or Walt Disney.  Well, they all live in a hidden section of New York City.  Driven away from their lands by the mysterious being known only as the Adversary, the Fables live amongst the mudane (or Mundys, as they like to call them) hoping to one day regain their lost land.  In the meantime, Snow White is having a hell of a time trying to keep things in order as mayoral assistant of Fabletown, Bigby Wolf tries to maintain law and order as sheriff despite his past as a Grandma eater and Pig home destroyer, Prince Charming attempts to find a new woman while trying to avoid the wrath of his ex-wives Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, and Pinocchio tries to find a way to grow up from a "real boy" to a "real man" so he can get laid.  A small fun story that grows and shifts.  I've never read a series of books that has the minor characters grow and evolve into the new main characters while the main characters slowly move into minor roles.

Preacher-  Jesse Custer was a drunk preacher with a terrible past to deal with.  Then Genesis hit.  Now this new idea made tangible has given Jesse the Word of God, which can make anyone do whatever Jesse tells them to do.  Teamed up with his old girlfriend turned hitman and a hard drinking Irish vampire, Jesse goes on a quest to find God to make Him answer for His abandonment of mankind.  Preacher makes a good, odd, graphically violent Western mixed with theology and skepticism. With a slow burning story, heavy violence, and provacative artwork, Preacher may not be for everyone, but I think it's definitely worth a look.

100 Bullets-  You are down on your luck and in trouble.  Then all of a sudden a man with a briefcase appears.  He sits next to you and shows you a photo of the person responsible along with proof of the person's involvement in your misery.  The man gives you a gun with 100 untraceable bullets.  No court will convict you.  If arrested, you'll be immediately freed.  He says to do with the gun and bullets as you wish.  He then leaves.  What do you do?  This is the premise of 100 Bullets.  A simple series of stories turns into more than what it seems.  Who are the Minutemen?  What is Kroatoa?  If you are into crime/drama with a little noir and conspiracy, this is a title you should pick up.

The Walking Dead-  I don't care for zombie books, but this one is awesome.  While it does have the whole zombie plague hitting the world, the characters in the book make it worth reading.  The book focuses more on the small band of regular people led by a small town cop, trying to survive as a whole, create their own rules, keep their sanity, and live in a society with little food, water, and gas until the government does something...if there is a government left.  Characters enter, characters leave, characters die, and characters change.  Walking Dead is what Survivor would have been if the game had really mattered and if Lost kept up with good writing...with zombies.

I hope these might change your perspective on "funny books."  Happy reading.

Currently Watching Family Guy, Vol. 3 see related

Summer Movies

I love summer. The warm weather.  The cookouts.  There is only one thing that will make me stay indoors for a chunk of time.  New movies.  I love summer movie season.  While the Oscar-worthy, artsy flicks that I like to watch occur during the holiday season, summer flicks are the ones that are the most fun.  Join me, as I look into some of the movies I plan on viewing this summer.

The Da Vinci Code-  Saw it.  Read the book.  It'll save you over two hours of watching Tom Hanks and Ian McClellan desperately trying to shove good acting into a terribly written movie.  And no, it won't change Catholicism as we know it.

X-men:  The Last Stand-  I saw it.  It's pretty good, but it should have been better.  Also, the way it ended and the disappointing response to it tells me that there will be an X4, but it'll be a long time before it'll be considered.  Who do I blame for the disappointment?  Two words.  Fuckin' Superman.

Superman Returns-  Yeah, I'm watching it, but it'll have to live up to the hype.  First it stole one of the main actors from X3, thus making his role in that movie shorter than it should have been.  Second, it stole the director of the first two X-men flicks.  So I'm already prejudiced against it.  Also, I'm pissed at the fact that this movie isn't a restart to the Superman franchise like Batman Begins was to the Batman franchise.  This movie is telling us to forget Superman 3 and 4 from the original Christopher Reeve series and that this is the real sequel to Superman 2.  First of all, while the Christopher Reeve series was classic, the last Supes movie was over 20 years ago!!!!  So they have already alienated people that have never seen Supes 1 and 2.  Also, I feel bad for Brandon Routh.  Who? Exactly.  The man is a virtual unknown, which is good since the Superman character could have been freshened up.  However, I'm afraid that because this is the new Superman 3, Routh will be forced to play Christopher Reeve as Superman as opposed to playing Superman.  Christopher Reeve is and was Superman, but it's time to move on.  Batman Begins would have sucked if they asked Christian Bale to look and act like Michael Keaton as Batman.  I'm just watching this flick due to the hype and because I think Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor is the best casting decision ever. 

Cars- It's Pixar.  They haven't made a bad movie yet.  Why should that change?

Nacho Libre-  Jack Black + Lucha Libre + director of Napoleon Dynamite =  I can't possibly be disappointed.

Clerks 2-  A sequel for a movie that's over 10 years old.  Probably suck, but I'm a sheep who'll follow Kevin Smith into a mud pit filled with alligators that have knives for blood.

Snakes on a Plane-  The only movie that is a cult classic before the official trailers have been released.  The title explains it all.  Samuel L. Jackson signed on to do the movie after seeing the title alone.  Check this out.  There is this plane right?  And then, someone unleashes a crapload of snakes into it.  That's the movie.  This movie is also the first flick to actually add profanity and violence in post production!  It'll be terrible, but it'll be fantas-terrible!

So enjoy the weather and if you need A/C, check out your local theater.