Random thoughts and Rants
You should be punched in the mouth if:
- You are perfectly ambulatory and use the elevator to ride up only one floor. Use stairs you lazy schmuck.
- Walk across the street in traffic when there is a crosswalk less than 20 feet front of you.
- Takes you over three minutes to process the mere thought that someone wants a burger with no onions and pickles.
- Make another reality television show that requires contestants to sing (relax people, I'm not talking about American Idol...yet).
- Speed up and stay alongside the car trying to shift into your lane.
- Make the same request immediately after someone says no.
- If you are Person #1 in the following short play:
Person #1: Can I have a buck?
Person #2: I don't have any money.
Person #1: Don't you have any change?
Person #1, when I say I don't have any money, I don't have any money. Change is money. Leave me the fuck alone. I also love the fact that the people that do ask me for money wear better clothes than I do and get pissed off and irritated that I don't buy into their bullshit. Before you get all preachy about helping the poor, let me tell you that I offer to buy them a meal or bus ticket and then they turn me away. That's how you weed out the people who really need help and drunks/druggies who would waste it/take advantage of charity rather than find help or getting a job.
Other thoughts:
- White people: Elvis is dead. Black people: So is Tupac.
- Homemade chicken quesadillas are awesome.
- I'm sad and pathetic. VH1 has a pop culture trivia game show. I'm blowing the contestants out of the water. Man, I need a life.
- Finally saw Fargo. Good flick.
- CDs currently in my car- Three Days Grace, Led Zepplin, Rollins Band, Dispatch, Seether, Lewis Black: Black on Broadway, Pink Floyd: The Wall, Space Ghost's Musical BBQ, Eugene Mirman: En Garde Society!, Tenacious D, and a spoken word CD with Henry Rollins reading entries of his journal from when he sang for Black Flag.
- Saw Big Lebowski for the 94th time with White Russian in hand. Good.
- I hate the fact that I love Superman Returns.
- Unless your name is Will Smith, musicians please stay out of movies and actors stay out of the music industry.
- Ladies: Owen Wilson is not attractive. I'm sorry. He has the ability to be funny at times, but you cannot convince me that a man with a nose like that can be a sex symbol.
- I wish there were new episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
- People I'd like to have dinner with, organized into a week of meals with groups of three for maximum level of unique conversation:
Monday (Lasanga)- Jesus Christ, Henry Rollins, Socrates
Tuesday (Gourmet Burritos)- Tom Hanks, Conan O'Brien, Bruce Lee
Wednesday (Pad Thai)- C.S. Lewis, Brian K. Vaughn, Julia Stiles
Thursday (Lobster)- Jon Stewart, Mahatma Ghandi, Frank Miller
Friday (Steak)- Richard Pryor, Martin Luther King Jr., John McCain
Saturday (BBQ Chicken)- Mother Teresa, Chuck Palahniuk, The Undertaker
Sunday (Breakfast Buffet for Dinner)- Akira Kurosawa, Lewis Black, Ayn Rand
Later.
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